My daughter is 17 years old now…I still remember very well when I was that age…she grew up so fast! Here I am searching for the same answers that my mother probably was. What do you do with an argumentative spirit and a stubborn soul? When do you brush an eye roll or cheeky response aside and when do you dig your heels in and take action to lecture or discipline? I do not always know the answers to those questions. I do know that God does, and that He provides us scripture to encourage, refresh, enlighten, and give us strength and endurance for times of uncertainty.
Sometimes I don’t understand if genetics or environment play a bigger part with the way that my daughter behaves. Is her behavior learned because I still act that way? My daughter behaves so similar to me at that age that I question myself. How did she get that way is the million dollar question? Maybe there is some sort of generational sin that I started? For instance, I do not believe my daughter has ever apologized without being prompted to do so. I remember having a difficult time apologizing to my parents. I do not feel like I have trouble apologizing to others now (most of the time). So where did she learn this?
These questions lead me to Proverbs 2:1-5. My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. “
God tells us that we do not have all of the answers because we are not knowledgeable enough on our own. If we had all of these answers, there would be no need to rely on Him and we would never have any need to seek Him out. The reality is, there is sin in the world, in our hearts and in our children. That is why we need to “take up our cross daily” to get back to the security of God’s grace. If our children are seeing us do that; If they are seeing us apologize and are watching us seek wisdom and answers from God, then they will also witness the fruit that it bears. Some of us have more “stubborn” children then others. They question and challenge….and argue! If guided by God’s word though, and ultimately through submission, these kids are the ones that can be extra resilient in the world. God can use these special children to not accept anything less than His Truth and His best. They may take longer to get there, but when they do, they are fiercely loyal in serving Him.
Somehow my daughter did get my stubbornness. BUT…my stubbornness to not quit was what got me through college when I was pregnant at nineteen. My stubbornness was what kept me going when there were bills to pay and not enough income. My stubbornness to persevere helped when I didn’t have my family around and when childcare, guidance, and encouragement were needed but nowhere to be found. My stubbornness helped me to refuse to settle for a man who was less than God’s best. Through my submission to God, He actually made my stubbornness (weakness) a blessing. I refused to quit or give up: “For those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” Rom. 8:28. This is also true for my daughter when she decides that she wants to be God’s servant and seek His wisdom more than to just be “stubborn.” For now though, it is my duty to seek God’s wisdom and to lift her up in prayer and correct her. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6. Ultimately it will be up to her to allow Jesus to do the rest!
Christ’s Corner 