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Every, Morning

O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words.

~Psalm 5:3; 119:147

I was never a morning person. When I was growing up I always enjoyed “a good sleep in.” I would go to school with my hair wet because I didn’t want to take the time to dry it in the morning. In high school, I would set my alarm for the last minute possible before having to get up and frantically get ready. By the time freshman year of college came around, I planned my classes accordingly so that having to wake up early was not even an issue.

During my sophomore year of college I had my daughter. I was twenty years old. I learned at that time I was still not a morning person (or a person that liked to wake up in the middle of the night several times). Like all of us who have children though, I had to adjust. My mornings throughout those years were pretty scary to face. The thought of taking my baby to daycare, going to work, a bipolar boss, my college classes, and on top of that, facing it all by myself was enough to make me want to pull the blankets over my head, (sometimes even the pillow…very tightly). I knew that I could not do it all by myself and I was hanging on by a thread…and that thread was about to fray. I decided to reach out to God at that time because I had nothing left in me. I was tapped out and I realized that either God was going to have to intervene or I was going to sink. Well God did intervene. It took my last ounce of hope and strength but I had just enough to say “I submit. I give up on trying to do things my way. I will do anything you need me to do.” I was ready for God to show me his promises. All that I had to do was get out of my own way and submit my will to His.

That was the constant perspective from the Lord that I needed to gain. I was not going to be able to survive the mornings, let alone the rest of the day without it. “In the morning, O Lord, hear my voice. In the morning I lay my needs in front of you, and I wait.” Psalm 5:3. David knew the secret of giving his first fruits of prayer in the morning. He talked about praying in the morning often. David relied on God or his strength because at one point God was all that he had. He was literally in the wilderness by himself hiding from King Saul.

I began praying to God in the morning before my feet even touched the floor. I read in a book one time that you should begin your day that way. I was so distraught some mornings about having to get up and face the world, I knew that is what I needed to do. I didn’t even want to take the first step of the day without my Lord Jesus. My prayer started out with just a simple, “Lord I need you today. Do not let me face this alone. I know you are with me. I love you and know that you love me. Let me find favor with you today. Thank you. Amen.” I then began incorporating an additional 15 minutes sitting in my big black chair with my coffee and a devotion or scripture. After awhile I began to include my daughter as well. I knew that if that time was so important to me that it could be just as impactful for her. I then extended that personal time with Jesus on my way to work. I decided I would only listen to Christian music to stay in a state worship as long as I could before being bombarded with disturbing news stories and deadlines and people who missed the memo that you didn’t have to be negative all of the time.

Looking back on those days, I realize how faithful God was. That time of complete dependency on the Lord was special. That chaotic time was difficult, but I can tell you that the Lord “kept me.” He kept my daughter and I healthy, he kept a good relationship with myself and her dad, and he kept us fed and clothed. God always provided me with employment and a place for us to live. He kept my daughter doing well in school and there was no drama with her friends. He also kept me from getting married when it was not my time yet. “The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.” (Psalm 121:7)

Perhaps the most famous prayer about mornings is from Lamentations 3:22-33: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases his mercies, never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” There was a whole song dedicated to that verse. It is an important verse to know because it doesn’t matter what your day brings; it doesn’t matter how many times you fail during the day, God still loves you with an everlasting love. You do not have to begin your next morning drowning in your sin from the previous day. His mercy for you is new every morning.

That leads me to where I am today. I am now in my thirties and over the past several years I have realized that I AM a morning person. Mornings are the times when I rely most on the Lord. I am blind of what will happen the rest of the day but my time with Him in the morning keeps me trusting that it does not matter. God is with me and he will never forsake me! “God is good, and everything He does is good.” (Ps. 119:68)

How are you keeping the Voles away?

Well after nine long months of winter in western PA (ok there may be some exaggeration there)… summer is finally here! I have to say that June is definitely my favorite month because there is so much excitement planting vegetable and flower seeds in the gardens and the hope of what is to sprout and bloom within the next three months.

The past few years I have taken an interest in gardening. It was something that I dabbled with for longer than that, but I decided that with the uncertainty of leadership in the world and lack of appreciation of farming in America, it was a small way that I could feel secure and provide for my family, as well as, be a healthy outlet for me. I have started to keep a garden diary to remember when I planted vegatables the previous season to prevent diseases like blight and not deplete the nutrients. The diary also helps me to know which seeds or plants worked, which ones didn’t, and what to change.

Something new this year is my introduction to voles. They have become my nemesis…to the point where they now even appear in my dreams! For those of you who do not know what a vole is, it is a critter/rodent that looks like something between a mouse and a mole…they are often called ‘field mice.’ Voles differ from moles in the way that they eat vegetation instead of grubs, so they are considered herbivores. They are the last thing that you want in your garden! I have had to learn so much about voles in the past few weeks because they have wrecked havoc on most of the roots of my vegetation. Sadly, one day I ended up in tears because I had to replant things two and three times and had to surrender the celery and carrots, and Italian herb garden that I spent so much time and energy planting.

I have been thinking how my gardening and my encounter with these demonic creatures really is comparable to the Christian walk. Christ creates something beautiful which is us and he gives us gifts and talents and wants us to thrive, but sometimes we forget to play offense against our nemesis, the Devil. We don’t even realize that we should be on guard, and only believe in playing defense after something difficult happens in our life. However the Bible tells us that we are to guard our hearts. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”-Proverbs 4:23.

Now I know that I didn’t even know what a vole was a month ago so it could be argued that I was innocent of knowing how to be on offense against them, but had I began more research when I first saw that perfectly shaped hole in the ground along the fence line and raised bed and did something about it, I wouldn’t have a completely infested garden and be 10 steps behind. It is the same way in our spiritual life. If we start to give Satan a foothold by getting a little lazy in our prayer life, or becoming undisciplined with in our mindset, he will start to run with our weaknesses. He hides in holes like those voles waiting to devour all of the beautiful roots and vegetation. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. Satan doesn’t mind hanging out in the dark crevices in our lives waiting to wipe out the fruit that we have allowed the Lord to grow. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:5

In my garden it’s up to me to plant on good soil, as well as fertilize, weed, and water. It’s up to me to check on my plants everyday and to make sure that if there are holes in the ground that I am fumigating them to keep the voles out and if there is brown spots on the plants, I trim the bottom branches to increase ventilation so they are not getting diseased. But what about our spiritual garden? What is going on in your spiritual life? Are you watering with the Word? Are you fertilizing with the Truth? Are you sharing your crop by witnessing? Are you harvesting with fellowship? How are you keeping the “voles” away? Are you guarding yourself and your family with the sword of the Spirit? “…the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.” -Eph 6:17-18. If you aren’t doing this then you should be. Otherwise we are left out in the elements (the world) and we are conformed and allowing our children to conform.

In my garden if I choose not to take care of it, the plants will start to blend in with the weeds and will be choked out by them. It is the same in our lives. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.: -Romans 12:2. We have to be set apart. We have to take care of what God gave us.

So now when you ask yourself “how am I keeping the voles away?” You can have a plan. Get that diary out! get the Word of God out! Dust off all your tools that you haven’t been using and play offense on the one who truly wants to destroy you, and then focus on the One who helps us bear fruit and vegetation and live in His abundance!

What do you do?

For the first 35 years of my life (ok maybe not childhood), this question never impacted me. It was just another question like, “How are you,” or “What’s up”? It wasn’t until I finally got married at age 35 and my husband and I decided that it made more sense for me to stay home then to work 40 hours a week. We were building a home together. We had travel plans and farmstead plans, and just selling our two previous houses and moving everything to one was a full time job. We were combining two households, two daughters and two very independent adults into one home, and that takes energy…and lots of patience.

It has now been four years since we said “I do.” My biological daughter has now entered into her first year of college. Our eleven year old attends a Christian school 50 minutes away and although a full time job would still not make sense for our family as that would put all of the strain of driving on my husband, I could get a part time job. This leads me back to the title of this blog which is “What do you do”? Last month I actually did try out a part time job. It only lasted a couple of weeks because it wasn’t a good fit in my life (not to mention there was zero training for it and I was lost), but it was in my field of Social Work. I graduated from University of Pittsburgh which is ranked one of the top-ranked schools for that in the country. I was 24 when I graduated and during those four and a half years of schooling I managed to work full time and have a child. I was b-u-s-y with a capital B! Not only was I busy, but I was drowning! I was drowning in debt, drowning in lack of time with my daughter, lack of resources, guilt, etc. With sometimes some support of family, I managed to get through college, provided a roof over our heads, had a church home and did my best to have a sense of normalcy and security in our lives…but I didn’t “feel” secure. I didn’t ever “feel” relaxed or to be able to live in the moment and enjoy what I had. I was paralyzed often from fear of the unknown and ridden with anxiety. I was often inward in my thoughts trying to not allow my daughter to feel the heaviness that was suffocating me.

As I bring this story back around, I realize I only took the part time job because of feeling like I need to still be “busy” and was afraid that other people were thinking that I didn’t do enough because I wasn’t working outside the home. I was feeling a lack of importance from myself. When asked now “What do you do”? I have decided to proudly state that “I am a homemaker and a farmsteader.” I don’t even care that farmsteader comes up on my spellcheck and says it is not a word. Just like that word, I have to sometimes make up my days as I go. Everyday is different. Sometimes I shovel goat poop, sometimes I spend 4 hours in the car providing transportation for my step daughter’s schooling, sometimes I provide Bible study for my friends…and sometimes I hop on my four wheeler and cruise around with my husband or my family and friends and enjoy God’s creation.

It is up to me to be prayerful daily and ask the Lord if there is anything he would like me to do or to pray for others. It is up to me to stay disciplined in my daily chores and spiritual life, and it is up to me to allow God to move me in His directions and “prune me” and to not get ahead of Him. So now when someone asks me “What do you do,” I no longer automatically think that I should be “doing” something other than exactly what I am doing. I know in my heart that I remain in God’s will and God’s homestead because that is where he is using me.

John 15:1-8 “I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers ; such branches are picked up, thrown in the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

God Loves Even The “Stubborn”

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My daughter is 17 years old now…I still remember very well when I was that age…she grew up so fast! Here I am searching for the same answers that my mother probably was. What do you do with an argumentative spirit and a stubborn soul? When do you brush an eye roll or cheeky response aside and when do you dig your heels in and take action to lecture or discipline? I do not always know the answers to those questions. I do know that God does, and that He provides us scripture to encourage, refresh, enlighten, and give us strength and endurance for times of uncertainty.

Sometimes I don’t understand if genetics or environment play a bigger part with the way that my daughter behaves. Is her behavior learned because I still act that way? My daughter behaves so similar to me at that age that I question myself. How did she get that way is the million dollar question? Maybe there is some sort of generational sin that I started? For instance, I do not believe my daughter has ever apologized without being prompted to do so. I remember having a difficult time apologizing to my parents. I do not feel like I have trouble apologizing to others now (most of the time). So where did she learn this?

These questions lead me to Proverbs 2:1-5. My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. “

God tells us that we do not have all of the answers because we are not knowledgeable enough on our own. If we had all of these answers, there would be no need to rely on Him and we would never have any need to seek Him out. The reality is, there is sin in the world, in our hearts and in our children. That is why we need to “take up our cross daily” to get back to the security of God’s grace. If our children are seeing us do that; If they are seeing us apologize and are watching us seek wisdom and answers from God, then they will also witness the fruit that it bears. Some of us have more “stubborn” children then others. They question and challenge….and argue! If guided by God’s word though, and ultimately through submission, these kids are the ones that can be extra resilient in the world. God can use these special children to not accept anything less than His Truth and His best. They may take longer to get there, but when they do, they are fiercely loyal in serving Him.

Somehow my daughter did get my stubbornness. BUT…my stubbornness to not quit was what got me through college when I was pregnant at nineteen. My stubbornness was what kept me going when there were bills to pay and not enough income. My stubbornness to persevere helped when I didn’t have my family around and when childcare, guidance, and encouragement were needed but nowhere to be found. My stubbornness helped me to refuse to settle for a man who was less than God’s best. Through my submission to God, He actually made my stubbornness (weakness) a blessing. I refused to quit or give up: “For those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” Rom. 8:28. This is also true for my daughter when she decides that she wants to be God’s servant and seek His wisdom more than to just be “stubborn.” For now though, it is my duty to seek God’s wisdom and to lift her up in prayer and correct her. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6. Ultimately it will be up to her to allow Jesus to do the rest!